Trollfic: The Legend of Kitkit (Discontinued)
by Olivewhisker
Summary: Warning: Bad Grammar and it's a Trollfic! Bigger warning inside for the flamers, but please no flames. It's supposed to be stupid on purpose. Kitkit has to stop Evilkit, but can she? Also, will Sandstorm rightfully break up with Dustpelt? Firestar's watching. (Sorry for leaving this Trollfic, but I've mostly moved on from Warriors fanfics.)
1. Chapter 1

**Attention: This is a Trollfic. It is supposed to be extremely stupid to the point of humor. I only ask for no flames or discouraging reviews. If you do, I will call you out on the chapter. Also: Warning to infuriating grammar!**

Allegiances:

YoloClan:

Leader: Yolostar- pure golden tom with purple eyes

Deputy: Randomfeets- Vibrant purple tom with large paws and red eyes

Medicine Cat: Yodaskin- Ugly green tom with pale yellow eyes; always talks backwards

Apprentice: Stuffingherbs- Small fuzzy green fat she-cat with herbs always sticking out of her mouth and olive green eyes

Warriors:

Moonkitti- Tiny pale gray she-cat with yellow eyes and darker pointed ears; would rather be youtubing than learning to kill

Whyanything- Always confused pale purple tom with green cheeks and blue eyes

(Apprentice: Weegeepaw)

Tackyclaw- Small black tom with yellow eyes and always wearing unfashionable clothes

Tigerclone- Another dark brown tabby tom with amber eyes

Owlbarf- Rusty brown she-cat with green eyes; always sick

Jackiechanguy- Brown tom who's always watching Jackie Chan movies

(Apprentice: Hemanpaw)

Harrydude- Gray brother of Jackiechanguy who watches Harry Potter movies

Foggyboi- Silver tom with a cloud of fog always surrounding him

(Apprentice: Foreveralonepaw)

Chickenleg- White she-cat with hairless legs

Bingeface- Small black she-cat who always binges something

(Apprentice: Chubbypaw)

Fillergal- White she-cat- that's it, she's filler

(Apprentice: Nobodypaw)

Apprentices:

Stuffingherbs

Nobodypaw- A gray tom who's a nobody

Chubbypaw- Obese tan she-cat

Weegeepaw- random green and brown tom

Hemanpaw- A blonde tom wearing blue shorts and always sings

Foreveralonepaw- Lonely blonde she-cat

Queens:

Mymom- Silver she-cat with pink eyes (mother of Kitkit, Airkit, and Evilkit)

Dataunt- Silver she-cat with rainbow eyes (Mother of Dadkit, and Angrykit)

Elders:

Missingno- Glitchy tom

Kits:

Kitkit- brown she-cat with angel wings

Airkit- orange tom who honks instead of meows

Evilkit- Blood red tom with blue eyes

Dadkit- tan kit with an auburn goatee

Angrykit- Bright solid red kit with blue eyes

Prolougue:

In starclam we see Fiyaster who has to be dere every tim. He is trying to get thro to sndstam who is currntly stuffing potatos cheeps inta Dusfpelts mouth. "How dware ya hung wuth Dastpelf!" he ywls.

Duftpat suddenwy scweems about some evil kit about to madur evwy won. Samstor looks up at Fiwestee and fwowns. "We dan't have evil kits en Strawclam!" she laughed. Fuerster slaps Duftface and demands him to explwan. Sandsung internwally screamd.

Cwan we just gib it gweencoff?" Sadstom asked. Firesteen glars at Samstorm. "If ya want to raise it," he nagged. Swandstam wants to lep off a cleff. "Ho seves the da?" she asskd.

Dustpat grinned evily. "We jst call her Kitkit!" Sanstom faints.

Meanwhile on actwal erth, Mymom gasps weth horra. "Wee ar nut namin hem Evilkit!" She shwted. The dd, Yolostar shook his hed. "Hs blld redd," he punted out. Mymumm glrs at Yelonster. "Scwu ya," she muttrd.

Den Airkit honks. "Shadup!" everyone screms. Evonket sads up. "I wan ta keel ya," he squeaked. "Omigosh! Nawww!" Yelasta cooes. "Ewww," Dataunt muttas. Memum laks at the bwon umemed kat. "Kitkit," sha purrz.

Da bwon ket locks up. "Dat Boi?" she askz. Kitkat waz punting at Airkat. Datunt sihed. "Dats Airkit, the hunker," she tld Kerkit. Kermik gasps! "Awhun!" she mows. Aurkit hinks.

Den Kiki dwew ha sad. "Shad hem up an Eye stb ya!" Evakat locked at Keetyeet. "I wan dat sawd!" he yowls. Yolanste ywns. "Im bawd," he mooned.

Den Yulustee levs. Ddki gut up. "Yo," he mowed. Angrykit shurped hes clees. "Em weth ya," he moos. Enwecat levs behind Yulustik. Den he wetruns. "Bingeface, Harrydude, an Chubbypaw arewatching huwy purter on the flitscwen," he annoced. Evinkat facpums. "I wint ta pley call of puty!" he demands. Dafit smeles. "I hep ya," he offrd. "Jackiechanguy wans ta hep as well!"

Kitkeet ynms. Den she flls aseep fur seex mons. She bwefly saws samsung and lears uf Dastpurt's stapid pwophawcy. "Imma bee kitster," she mows.


	2. Chapter 2

**Yo! It seems that Sandstorm has announced no flames! Congrats! Now onto the story!**

 **Sandstorm: I said that I flamed this! I think this is stupid!**

 **Yeah, Sandstorm. You thought that about Firestar. Besides, I've got to get to the story.**

 **Sandstorm: Yeah, Yeah! Have fun humiliating yourself!**

 **You know what? I will!**

Keetkit wuke op. Sha nutised dat et waz ha namin sirimonny. "Umigush!" sho mowed. "Imma bee Kitpaw sun!"

Sha fleed da nuwsry to see Yelasta givin Evakit an Airtki der appi memes. "Keetyeet," Yeosta announced. "Ya new Keetpo!" "Wooooo!" she gspd. Evilpaw and Airpaw wre unr Chickenleg and Jackiechanguy.

Yolosta grinned. "U mento bee Tigerclone!" Kitkat gasped. Ha wings juttd out fom ha sids. "Eye gut Tiggaster fiv!"

Menwhill, Hakfost glered fom behin da nooswy. "Evapoo," ha whispad. "Tim fa Futneyet!" Evilpaw trnd awound. "Oooo!" he swekd. "Furtneet!" Evopee fulud Hawkfrost inta leeteral kit hell to pley Fortnight.

Katpaw saw dis. "Oooo lawd!" she gaspd. She flooted ova ta Tiggerclune. "We havta stup dem!" shee mowed.

Dabpaw glaced ad Kitpoo. "I wanna hep!" he mowed. "Airpee wanna herp ta!" Airpaw hunked.

Sa Kitpat, Teggoclu, Didpoo, an Airpit went ta kitti hell!

Menweel, Snastum waz twin ta pushhh Daftpaw awee. "Eye hat dis," sha mowed. "I wanna gib hem gwweencoof an gib Evinpuff ta Deefpert!" Daftpoo shak hes hed. "Keel ma inseed!" heh wheeled.

Samsug glrd ad Doofpelt. "I didn wanna bee here," sha hizzed. "Keel Evacat end git et ova weth!"

Sha shuved a kif inta Daftput's pawz. "Keel hem!" Sha mowed. Fiyastee nodded inda backwoond.

"Imma gut ha bak naw!" he moosed. Samstum wazz hez naw! Unteel Dusput raytuns. Fiyaman pushes his spies, Foxleap an Ivypool awee. "Kep an eye om Evipoo," Firster commans Ivepoos and Fooxlep.


	3. Chapter 3

**Ivypool wanted to tell you that she's proud of all you polite people!**

 **Foxleap: Yo!**

 **Get back to your spying!**

 **Foxleap: Awwww! At least update the allegiances for me!**

 **Okay….**

 **Foxleap: With StarClan and The Dark Forest!**

Allegiances Update:

YoloClan:

Leader: Yolostar- pure golden tom with purple eyes

Deputy: Randomfeets- Vibrant purple tom with red eyes

Medicine Cat: Yodaskin- Ugly green tom with pale yellow eyes; always talks backwards

(Apprentice: Stuffingherbs- Small fuzzy fat green she-cat with herbs always sticking out of her mouth and olive eyes)

Warriors:

Moonkitti- Pale gray she-cat with yellow eyes and darker pointed ears; full-fledged youtuber

Whyanything- Always confused pale purple tom with green cheeks and blue eyes

(Apprentice: Weegeepaw)

Tackyclaw- Small black tom with yellow eyes and always wearing unfashionable clothes

Tigerclone- Another dark brown tabby tom with amber eyes

(Apprentice: Kitpaw)

Owlbarf- Rusty brown she-cat with green eyes; always sick

Jackiechanguy- Brown tom who's always watching Jackie Chan movies

(Apprentice: Evilpaw)

Harrydude- Gray brother of Jackiechanguy who watches Harry Potter movies

Foggyboi- Silver tom with a cloud of fog always surrounding him

Chickenleg- White she-cat with hairless legs

(Apprentice: Airpaw)

Nobodyface- A gray tom who's a nobody

(Apprentice: Angrypaw)

Foreveralonegal: Lonely blonde she-cat

Hemandude- Blonde tom who always wears shorts and sings

Mymom- Silver she-cat with pink eyes

(Apprentice: Dadpaw)

Dataunt- Silver she-cat with rainbow eyes

Apprentices:

Weegeepaw- Random green and brown tom

Kitpaw- Brown she-cat with angel wings

Airpaw- Orange tom who honks instead of meows

Evilpaw- Blood red tom with blue eyes

Angrypaw- Bright solid red tom with blue eyes

Dadpaw- Tan tom with an auburn goatee

Queens:

Bingeface- Small black she-cat who always binges something (mother of Trollkit and Robbiekit)

Chubbybum- Obese tan she-cat (Mother of Saltykit)

Fillergal- White she-cat (Mother of Wimpykit and Greasekit)

Kits:

Trollkit- White tom

Robbiekit- Purple and brown tom

Saltykit- Tan and white tom

Wimpykit- Skinny white she-cat

Greasekit- Black she-cat

Elders:

Missingno- Glitchy tom

StarClan:

Sandstorm- pale ginger she-cat

Firestar- flame colored tom

Dustpelt- Dark brown tabby tom

Ivypool- Silver tabby she-cat

Foxleap- Dark ginger and white tom

Mosskit- Gray and white she-cat

Goosefeather- Pale gray tom

Spottedleaf- Dark tortoiseshell she-cat

Redtail- Tortoiseshell tom

Honeyfern- Ginger tabby she-cat

Sorreltail- Tortoiseshell and white she-cat

Ferncloud- Gray flecked she-cat

Dark Forest:

Hawkfrost- Dark brown tabby tom with a white belly

Tigerstar- Dark brown tabby tom

Sleekwhisker- Pale ginger she-cat

Mapleshade- Tortoiseshell she-cat

Thistleclaw- Dark gray and white tom

Silverhawk- Silver tabby tom

Brokenstar- Long-haired dark brown tabby tom

Redwillow- Tortoiseshell tom

Darktail- White tom with black spots

Breezepelt- Black tom with amber eyes

 **Well, Next Actual Chapter Tomorrow! Thanks Foxleap!**

 **Foxleap: Sorry!**


	4. Chapter 4

**Yo! Ellabellu suggested that I should make things a bit more easier to read. I agree. So, I am going to translate the first two chapters with a quick summary, then I will write the next chapter with easier to read spelling.**

First, we see Firestar, since he has to be there every time. He thinks that Sandstorm is on a date with Dustpelt. Turns out, he just went crazy with a prophecy about Evilkit. Sandstorm doesn't believe him.

Firestar smacks Dustpelt and demands him to explain. He does and Sandstorm gets frustrated.

Sandstorm wants to kill him with greencough. Firestar says no, unless she wants to raise him.

Sandstorm asks who will save the day. Dustpelt explains that it is Kitkit! Sandstorm faints in return.

In YoloClan, Mymom gets mad over Yolostar trying to name their son Evilkit. Yolostar explains that the kit's pelt is blood red. Mymom submits.

Airkit honks and every one tells him to shut up! Evilkit sits up and tells Airkit that he wants to kill him. Yolostar thinks this is cute and Dataunt hints to him that Evilkit is not cute! Mymom names her final kit, Kitkit.

Kitkit asks who her honking brother is. Dataunt tells Kitkit that he is Airkit. She immediately asks Airkit to honk. He does!

Kitkit then draws a sword out of nowhere and threatens to stab whoever shuts Airkit up. Evilkit wants the sword.

Yolostar then gets bored and leaves. Dadkit says "Yo!" and Angrykit flees the Nursery behind Yolostar. He returns like ten seconds later. Apparently Bingeface, Harrydude, and Chubbypaw are binge-watching Harry Potter movies!

Evilkit immediately facepalms and wants to play Call of Duty. Dadkit and Jackiechanguy help Evilkit retrieve the flat screen TV.

Kitkit falls asleep for six moons and learns about Dustpelt's fit. She wakes up just before her apprentice ceremony! Nobodyface, Hemandude, Foreveralonegal, and Chubbybum are now warriors! Chubbybum, Fillergal, and Bingeface also had kits!

Evilpaw gets apprenticed to Jackiechanguy and Airpaw gets Chickenleg. Kitkit gets Tigerclone as her mentor. She gets excited over receving Tigerstar five/ infinity.

Hawkfrost takes Evilpaw to Kitty Hell to play Fortnight. Kitpaw sees this and wants to stop them.

Tigerclone, Airpaw, and Dadpaw come with her to the Kitty Hell!

Sandstorm shoved Dustpelt away after hearing this terrible story. She tells Dustpelt to kill Evilpaw and shoves a knife into his paws.

Out of jealousy, Firestar does a victory dance as Dustpelt flees. Then, he sends out Foxleap and Ivypool to spy on Evilpaw.


	5. Chapter 5

Evilpaw hangs an E-bling around his neck and sits on a bloody bean bag next to Hawkfrost, Breezepelt, and Redwillow to play Fortnight. Mapleshade and Tigerstar watch disapprovingly. "What happened to Minecraft?" he asked.

Breezepelt rolls his eyes and shakes his head. "Boring!" he howls. Hawkfrost nods in agreement. "Anything to stop me from being bored!"

Redwillow suddenly snarls. "I was just killed by Foxleap!" he complains. Hawkfrost rolls his eyes. "What a wacko." Breezepelt strikes his paws up in victory. "I just killed Lionblaze!" he hollered. Evilpaw moves over a bit and Hawkfrost's jaws drop. "You killed one of the best players?" he asked. Breezepelt shrugs. "Yeah? Hollyleaf is giving him a long lecture about invincibility over my headphones!"

Redwillow breaks out in a fit of laughter. "You're kidding me!" he squeaks. Redwillow then respawns himself. "I'll get you this time, Foxleap!" he snarls.

Sleekwhisker and Thistleclaw interrupt by dashing in front of the TV. Redwillow headbangs on his controller. "Jayfeather just killed me and he's blind!"

Sleekwhisker was panting. "Intruders!" she yowls. "Kitpaw is going to kill us!" Tigerstar's fur immediately fluffs up. "What?!" he gasps. "Wasn't Brokenstar guarding?!" Thistleclaw shakes his head. "He's knockout drunk," he replies.

Mapleshade sighs. "Crap." Tigerstar hops backwards, as Tigerclone rams into Sleekwhisker. "Nuuuuu!" Sleekwhisker wails, as she is chased away.

Thistleclaw is dogpiled by Dadpaw and Airpaw. "Awwww!" he screams.

Out from the fog, comes Kitpaw! "I will kill ya, Evilpaw!" she yowls. Evilpaw hops off the bean bag and wails for mercy. "I just wanted to play Fortnight!" he wails. Kitpaw freezes and a small twinge of doubt enters her mind. "Okay!" she squeaks. Then, Kitpaw's attack party leaves.

Hawkfrost, Breezepelt, and Redwillow decide to kick Evilpaw out of their Fortnight club, only to be interrupted by Ivypool. Her fur fluffs up and all she could say was "Yo!" Hawkfrost struts up to his ex and shoves Evilpaw into her arms. "Take him," he grunts.

"Nuuuuu!" Evilpaw shouts. He swings out a katana and stabs Hawkfrost. Hawkfrost immediately dies. Evilpaw's normally blue eyes glow red. He lunges for Ivypool next. "Say goodbye!" he snarls. Evilpaw kills Ivypool as well.

Breezepelt and Redwillow shrink under Evilpaw's glare. "W-we didn't want to chase ya off!" Redwillow pleads. "Hawkfrost did it!" Breezepelt squeaks in fear.

"We're friends!" Redwillow insists. Evilpaw nodds. "Very well," he snarled. "Don't mess up!" Redwillow and Breezepelt vigorously nod.

Tigerstar facepalms and padds over to Mapleshade, whispering to her. Mapleshade glances at Evilpaw. "How about you plot in the Dark Ritual Chamber?" she suggests. Evilpaw shrugs. "What's the point of hanging with you anyways?" He beckons to Breezepelt and Redwillow. "Come, my new minions! We have a new base!" Evilpaw leads Breezepelt and Redwillow away and the two old DF warriors sigh in relief.

"Finally!" Tigerstar purrs. "Noiseless relaxation!" Mapleshade cheers. Sleekwhisker and Thistleclaw stare at them, blood wounds quickly healing. "What about Kitpaw's killer patrol?" she asked. Mapleshade groans. "Dang it!" Tigerstar headbangs a tree. "Somebody get Brokenstar!" he booms. Thistleclaw runs to find him.

Meanwhile, Mosskit and Goosefather glare at Yellowfang, who is smoking a cigarette. "What!?" she asks. Mosskit shrugs, innocently and Goosefather stares harder.

Foxleap enters the clearing and wails, "Ivypool just went down!" His spiky tail was tufted and puffed in fear. "Evilpaw stabbed her and Hawkfrost!" Mosskit sighs. "Firestar," she called. "We have a downer!"

Firestar ran up to her. "Foxleap," he snarls. "What happened?" Foxleap sighs. "I hacked into Fortnight and watched and killed Redwillow," he begins. Firestar facepalms. "I mean in the Dark Forest!" Foxleap shrugs. "Evilpaw got mad because Hawkfrost dismissed him and he was killed. Ivypool came shortly afterwards and was killed as well!"

Firestar winced. "Ouch!" he mewls. Evilpaw seems to have started his reign of evil!


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N: Sandstorm has noticed that I haven't updated in a few weeks…. Silly me!**

Kitpaw returns to camp with Dadpaw, Tigerclone, and Airpaw. "Evilpaw was just playing Fortnite!" she announced.

Yolostar, on top of the Rock smiles warmly at his son and daughter. He also smiles at Dadpaw. "Good job!" he greets. "Warrior name time!"

Kitpaw folds in her wings and narrows her eyes at her father. She could just make out Yolostar's purple eyes derping.

Angrypaw yowls in spite. "Really!?" He pouts while pouring himself a Sprite. "If Dadpaw gets to be a warrior, I should too!"

Yolostar smiles evilly. "Nope!" Then, StarClan floats a pair of sunglasses down onto Yolostar's face.

"Dang," Whyanything mews. "How does that even work?"

Moonkitti shakes her head. "It isn't supposed too," she replied. "We live in a world worse than Starkit's!"

Both Mymom and Dataunt scowl at Yolostar. "What about our sons!?"

Yolostar shakes his head and his sunglasses fall off. "Evilpaw's just evil and Angrypaw is a sad nobody."

"Hey!" Nobodyface squeaks. "That's supposed to be me and Fillergal!"

"Yeah!" Wimpykit agrees from behind Fillergal and Greasekit just shrugs. "I'm not!"

Fillergal sighs. "Greasekit," she mews. "Our whole family is a nobody."

Yolostar crosses his front legs and hums to himself. "Kitpaw is now Kitkat, Airpaw is now Airhorn, and Dadpaw is now Dadbeard!"

Airhorn honks in delight. "Hunk!"

Kitkat sighed. "Of all warrior names, I'm named after a candy!?"

Moonkitti nods. "Yep! That's what happens in Trollfics!"

Dadbeard slaps a pirate hat on his head. "I'm Dadbeard!"

Angrypaw just snarls and walks away. "I'll just hang with Evilpaw," he mutters quietly.

Meanwhile in The Dark Ritual Chamber, otherwise the TDRC, Evilpaw had just crowned himself, Evilstar. He is now the leader of DeathClan!

"Redwillow is my new deputy!" Evilstar yowls. It was kind of sad that Breezepelt was the only other member.

"Redwillow! Redwillow! Redwillow!" Breezepelt cheers.

Then Angrypaw arrives, accompanied by Greasekit, who followed him. "We want to join your Clan and be appreciated," they mew.

Evilstar nodds. "Anrgypaw is now Angryboi and Greasekit is now Greasepelt!"

Breezepelt and Redwillow cheer for the new warriors! "Angryboi! Greasepelt! Angryboi! Greasepelt!"

Meanwhile, in StarClan, Firestar sends Foxleap away. "Get Hollyleaf, Lionblaze, and Spottedleaf!"

Foxleap shrugged and runs away to get them.

Sandstorm looks at Firestar. "Why her?" she asks.

Firestar smiles evilly. "Spottedleaf is overpowered!" His tail whips gracefully. "She'll kill Evilstar!"

Sandstorm frowns. "Evilstar killed Ivypool and Hawkfrost near the same time!"

Firestar stubbornly puffs his chest out. "Then we can kill my former dream girlfriend!"

Sandstorm smiles with glee. "And we can be rid of her! The haters will love you!"

Firestar shrugs. "I'm still half Gary Stu."

Spottedleaf, Lionblaze, and Hollyleaf run up to Firestar. "Yes Firestar?" Lionblaze and Hollyleaf ask their grandfather. Spottedleaf asks at the same time, "Yes babe?"

Firestar glares at Spottedleaf. "Lionblaze and Hollyleaf," Firestar ordered. "Spy on Evilstar." Firestar smiles evenly at Spottedleaf. "My dear Spottedleaf," he mews. "Kill Evilstar."

Hollyleaf and Lionblaze nod. "Eye-Eye, Captain!"

Firestar pretends he can't hear them and sees Spottedleaf blush. "Yes, sweetheart!"

Firestar thinks Spottedleaf has become a hooker in the previous years. She's kind of creepy!

Meanwhile (again), in the Dark Forest (Kitty Hell), Tigerstar decides to kill Brokenstar. He easily wins. "Worthless scum!" he growls.

Brokenstar gasps. "Wolfjem," he gags. "Stop calling this place Kitty Hell!" Then Brokenstar dies.

" _No," I say, giggling._

Tigerstar facepalms. "Do I look like I care?"

" _Nah," I reply. "But, I have to leave! I'm not supposed to be here!" Then, I disappear._

Mapleshade sighs. "We lost too much today." She closes her eyes. "We all lost Hawkfrost!"

Tigerstar rolls his eyes as Mapleshade hugs him and cries into his chest fur. _Does she think we're mates!?_

Tigerstar frowns. "Mourn your son somewhere else."

Mapleshade nods, her eyes shining. "Yes sir!" Then she runs 30 feet away and starts bawling again.

Tigerstar wants to die.


	7. Chapter 7

**A/N: Jayfeather is babysitting this fic because Sandstorm was too impatient to stay and hang out. :(**

Kitkat was highly startled that Greasekit and Angrypaw left so quickly. Grabbing a Coke, she smirks at Dadbeard. "They really are sad nobodys," she told him.

Dadbeard nodded, lounging next to Airhorn. "And dis bar is de best in YoloClan!" He is seen gulping down a questionable beverage.

Airhorn seems sad. "H-hunk," he murmurs. He is seen clutching the one happy photo he has of Evilpaw. He listening to the song, "Slipped Away" as well.

Kitkat notices this and closes her wings tightly. "You miss Evilpaw," she murmurs. She stops Airhorn from stealing Dadbeard's drink. "Don't do that!" she hissed.

Airhorn nods for both. "Honk!" he cries. In return he knocks Dadbeard's beer(?) off the counter. "Honk!" Airhorn glares at Dadbeard.

Dadbeard runs off crying. "I need my Bud Lite!" He is briefly seen hiding in the Warriors den.

Kitkat is speechless for the rest of the night as she returns to the den with Airhorn. She sleeps with him that night, unaware of Tigerclone's loving stares.

…

Meanwhile, Evilstar is organizing a get-together to recruit more warriors for DeathClan. Redwillow was just hanging up the last banner in TDRC when Weegeepaw enters.

"I want to be an honored warrior rather than a failing basement apprentice drinking Kool-Aid," Weegeepaw announces to Evilstar.

Greasepelt and Angryboi warmly welcome him before Evilstar can speak. "Yay! Welcome!"

Evilstar nods silently, glaring at Greasepelt and Angryboi. "Welcome, Weegeeheart," he mews dangerously. "I hope you are a better listener than those two."

Greasepelt and Angryboi quickly get back to work. "Sorry, Evilstar!"

Breezepelt is gazing out the door, wondering if anymore cats would come. He perks up when three more cats enter.

"I'll join," Heathertail mews while her kits, Brindlewing and Smokehaze, nod excitedly. "If Breezepelt is here then I'll be as well."

Breezepelt's family is quickly followed by Sol and Ashfur. "Us too!" they squeak.

Evilstar nods. "Welcome, Heathertail, Brindlewing, Smokehaze, Ashfur, and Solshade." His calm blue eyes blaze approvingly. "Especially you Solshade," he mews to Sol. "You will be a great help with recruitments." He hands him some flyers.

…

Meanwhile, Hollyleaf and Lionblaze are carefully watching who enters TDRC. "Why Heathertail!?" Lionblaze hisses quietly.

Spottedleaf runs for the door quickly and barges in past Sol and Ashfur. "I will kill you!" she hisses at Evilstar. "My babe will be happy after that!"

Hollyleaf and Lionblaze quickly facepalm. "What is wrong with you two?" she asks, glaring between Lionblaze and Spottedleaf. "You're still clingy to your ex and Spottedleaf wants to die today!"

A loud screech is heard and Spottedleaf is heard no more. "Is this all you have for Ivypool's revenge!?" Evilstar yowls, outraged. "You are huge fools to be challenging DeathClan!"

A loud thump breaks the sudden silence as Evilstar throws Spottedleaf's fading body outside. "Take your stupid piece of garbage, StarClan!"

Hollyleaf gasps and she and Lionblaze run back to StarClan. Evilstar chuckles as he watches the two StarClan cats leave. "And she's even worthless!" he laughs.

…

Firestar doesn't even gasp when Hollyleaf tells him that Spottedleaf is dead. "Finally!" Firestar yowls. "She's dead at last!"

Sandstorm frowns as Hollyleaf tells the rest of the news. "Kitkat really needs to stop hanging out at bars," she scorns. "I'll have to send her an omen before it's too late."

Sandstorm ignores Dustpelt's vigorous nodding as she enter's Kitkat's dream. Her eyes widen at Kitkat's dream.

"And this is why being hot is a weakness," Starstar mews. "I've got thirty different toms after me!" Starstar points at Graystripe and Blackstar as Kitkat gasps. "So I became gay!" Jazzstar enters and sits next to Starstar. "No issues at all!" Starstar looks like she is about to cry.

"Um," Sandstorm mews. "I have an omen to send," she tells the Starkit gang. "You can go bother… um…. Sunshinemornignpawkitflipstar… Sunshinewhisperer!" Sandstorm is panting from saying such a terrible trollfic cat name. "G-go bother him!"

Starstar nods and leaves. "Fine! I'll be his Jesus instead!" She, Jazzstar, Graystripe, and Blackstar leave.

Kitkat gazes at Sandstorm. "What is so important that you have to take away Jesus!?" Her wings stuck out stiffly. She was quite irritated.

Sandstorm rolls her eyes. "Evilpaw is now the terrible Evilstar!" She growls at his name. "He rules DeathClan and has already killed Hawkfrost, Ivypool, and Spottedleaf. He has to be stopped! So quit with the bar hangouts!"

Kitkat flinches. "OMG! My brother has turned to the dark side!?" She uses dream logic to grab Luke Skywalker's lightsaber. "Nuuuuuu!"

Sandstorm sighs. "Just stop him. Also, don't have kits like Bluestar." She quickly leaves as Kitkat hisses angrily.

"I will have kits if I want to!" Kitkat growls. "Besides! Evilstar has not attacked!"

Sandstorm sighed. "Have you not noticed the disappearance of Greasekit, Angrypaw, and Weegeepaw!? They are now DeathClan!"

Kitkat gasps. "Nuuuuu!" She didn't want to deal with Sandstorm any longer, so she woke up the next morning with Airhorn at her side.


	8. Chapter 8

**A/N: Jayfeather had a rage quit, so Sandstorm is back from her 'brief' vacation!**

Kitkat quickly teleported over to Evilstar's old weapon stash and fitted her gang with weapons. Tigerclone was the shooter, Airhorn was the grenade man, Dadbeard was the assassin, and Kitkat was the Cat Ninja.

The squad then teleported over to TDRC. "We will defeat you!" Kitkat yelled over at DeathClan. Tigerclone starts shooting like crazy, while Airhorn starts throwing grenades. The Dark Forest cats and StarClan also join in to kill off DeathClan. "I will avenge Hawkfrost!" Mapleshade screeched. Tigerstar facepalmed. "Why did I make him her son in chapter six?"

Airhorn suddenly blows himself up and Kitkat is sad. She reacts by stabbing Breezepelt, which causes Heathertail, Smokehaze, and Brindlewing to flee. Dadbeard assassinates Greasepelt and Angryboi kills him in revenge. "Nuuuu!" Kitkat screams. Dustpelt randomly dies from one of Midnight's badger-boi kin and Firestar dies while doing a victory dance.

Sleekwhisker and Redwillow killed each other at the same time by stabbing rocks into their chests. Robbie Rotten quickly runs in to pull his screen down and do his job. "Don't let your kids watch it!" Sleekwhisker, Redwillow, and Robbie Rotten disappear from existence three seconds later.

Evilstar, Angryboi, and Ashfur flee after that. "The memes are after us!" Ashfur yowls. He screams like a little girl when Moonkitti drops a yellow wig on him out of nowhere. "Not the memes!"

Solshade uses his eclipse powers to cast a spell on Kitkat before he leaves. It doesn't affect Kitkat at first. Then StarClan, YoloClan, and the Dark Forest have a huge funeral, while Heathertail, Smokehaze, and Brindlewing get arrested by the Star Police. Pinestar leads them and announces that it is safe. Tigerstar gives Pinestar the finger and goes home.

Kitkat wakes up the next day with a few scales on her face and an extremely obese belly. "Nuuuu!" she yowls. "I'm no longer hot and I'm preggie!"


End file.
